Monday, October 14, 2013

Blog Intro Post

Sports acrobatics have been a big part of my life. I started acrobatics at age 6 at a local gym called Emilia's Acrobatics and Gymnastics Club (EAGC). I competed with two other girls that were my trio. I was fortunate enough to be able to compete in a international competition in Switzerland. Sports acrobatics teaches you dedication, perseverance, and many life lessons. I believe that acrobatics has helped me be the person I am today.




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8 comments:

  1. I love the first picture it looks so cool!!

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  2. Your photos of acrobatics makes me want to go watch videos of live performances. I also think it is very cool how you went to Switzerland that is one of my favorite countries.

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  3. That really takes a lot of skill.

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  4. Great story! It's really cool how you were able to go to Switzerland.Nice pictures by the way.

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  5. The first picture posted is sick and amazing, then doing it when your younger is even more impressive.

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  6. I think your pictures are really great! They’re so interesting and authentic.

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  7. 1. I think your topic sentence is fine, but I believe it should be” because it is a very unique sport.”
    2. You have good support- the visuals were very helpful as well.
    3. You transitioned well from one paragraph to the next.
    4. Your quote is good (as well as your citation), but maybe have a sentence after it that talks about people’s bodies and how they use them as apparatus, then go into “Also sports acrobatics has many different types of groups…”
    5. A few grammatical errors so go back and proofread.
    6. Right now, your argument is pretty good. I think if you offer a little more support your argument will be stronger. Stronger language would help as well.
    7. Your post is interesting and it’s organized well. The pictures were a great idea, they really helped to emphasize your point and give the reader background into what sports acrobatics is.
    8. A little more support, be passionate about what you’re arguing for and possibly have a different concluding sentence that really sums up what you’re saying. Good job!

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  8. Topic- Really good topic and I do gymnastics so I agree with you.

    support- I like the support you used and really good but i think you can us more on what you are talking about.

    transitions- I don't really see a lot of them in the paragraph.

    quote- I don't see no quotes

    Grammera and spelling- really good grammar i don't see no era and spelling really good.

    strong argument- It is really strong argument and its a good topic to talk about.

    commet- I like the topic you pick and it is really put together and it look good so far.

    suggest- make sure you put a quite sandwich and more transitions words and more example.

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